Wednesday, June 25, 2008

How To Be the Mom Your Quinceanera Needs

Have you heard the news lately about the increase in high school teen pregnancy this year? Some people are screaming, “Where are their mothers”?

I’m sure many of the mothers have been saying, “My daughter won’t talk to me”. All my daughter does is argue with me and then she runs off crying or yelling at me. Does that sound familiar?

In the book I authored: Quinceanera Connection: Your Dream Celebration On Any Budget, I wrote, “your daughter may be begging for Independence, but she wants your approval now”.

It might seem impossible to be the ‘perfect mom’ of a teen, but you can do it. There was no instruction manual when you delivered your daughter. Nor did you ever think about the challenges you both would have when she entered puberty and then celebrated her right-of-passage and beyond.

The secret is to start communicating as early as possible with your daughter about what she will encounter when her body starts to make changes.
  • She needs to hear from her loving mother, being born female is a gift from God.
  • A gift she should be proud of and cherish.
  • A gift she should not share until she is old enough and wise enough to make the right choices.
During one of my many interviews when I was performing the research for my book. One of the interviews was with Isabel. She said, " my mother never told me about what she should expect with the changes in my body".

Isabel said she was totally unprepared. She was embarrassed when she started to menstruate. It came on at school. She thought she was dying. She ran to the school nurse for help.

• She never had a close relationship with her mother again.
• She didn’t trust her mother any longer to be her guide.
• She felt her mother let her down.

Isabel’s story was sad. She said she made the wrong choices. She had a baby when she was in college. She knew she didn’t want to have anything to do with the child's father. She dropped out of school.

• She didn’t tell her mother until the baby was about to be born.
• Unfortunately, the baby was born with serious health problems.
• As she was telling me her story, I could hear anger in her voice. It was possibly the same anger she felt when she believed her mother let her down.

Start today: become your daughter’s teacher not her preacher:

• Your role as the mother of a teen has changed.
• However, your daughter needs you more than ever before.
• She needs you to listen to her problems without criticism.
• She wants to feel like a grownup, but she is scared.
• Everyday she has all the social pressures to deal with at school.
• Her body and hormones are changing constantly.
• One day someone is her best friend the next day her enemy.
• She needs you more than ever before.

A few secrets to start with:

• Ask your daughter to help you with a simple task that you can both do together. – Preferably something fun.
• Praise her for her help.
• Tell her you love her and talk about something positive.
• Then let her talk. JUST LISTEN.
• If she doesn’t say anything. That’s fine. After you both are finished with the task. Give her a big hug. Tell her you love her and appreciate her help.
• Let a few days go by. Then ask for her help again for something simple and quick. Repeat the process.
• Then follow up each day and without asking for her help…give her a hug and thank her for being such an important part of your life.

Your daughter will start to feel she can trust you. You will have reconnected with love and without anger and yelling.

I’m planning on writing an e book about the important role a mother has in her daughter's life. From my research I've found if a teen girl doesn’t have a close trusting, loving relationship with her mother. She runs off into the arms of a boy and she makes the wrong choices.

I invite you join a group of mothers who want the best for their daughter.

Please - call me toll free at (866) 478-4623 or email me at:
Priscilla@quinceaneraconnect.com. So we can chat about your relationship with your daughter. I will share my research with you.

Your daughter’s Quinceanera will be more meaningful for everyone involved when you – speak from your heart and don’t criticize her.

All the best,
Priscilla
PS: Until my e book is published, you will find my book- Quinceanera Connection-“Parent Talk” section very helpful for creating a loving, trusting relationship with your Quinceanera. For a limited time you will also receive your free bonus/gift of a 70-page Quinceanera
e planner. – BUY NOW! free shipping.